“Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.” MentalHealth.GOV, 28.05.2020
There is no age limit when it comes to mental health and it has the potential to be a really dark and scary aspect of somebody's life. Although poor mental health is as prevalent as 1 in 5 Australians suffering, it often feels like a very isolated place, many individuals suppress these emotions as they feel alone or ashamed. Collectively we need to ensure people with mental health issues do not feel alone, intentionally taking time to listen to how they feel and why.
More than a year has passed since the beginning of a really tough time in my life and I wasn’t the only person to experience the emotional turmoil of 2019 so I decided to check in on everyone’s mental health through a pole on my personal instagram. I can't say I was surprised when 91% of people replied 'yes' to having or knowing someone close to them with mental health issues. What stood out to me most amongst the responses, was that people weren’t reaching out nor were they making healthy choices or changes for their mental health. A lot of people also responded and messaged me personally in regards to the fact they know a friend is suffering with these issues but they don’t know what to say or do to help when confronted with it...
So I asked the questions, and some really amazing, brave individuals who will remain anonymous shared their personal mental health struggles with me, opening up about what they do when feeling defeated or why they don’t do anything at all, how they pick themselves back up and what helps when a friend is reaching out.
There was a response to why someone didn’t make any healthy changes that really spoke volumes to me and that was, “sometimes you know what changes you should make but the thought of making them is too exhausting”, if you read that and feel like you can relate to it on any sort of level, know your not alone and be patient with yourself!
Personally I feel there are times it just feels easier to be upset and find a certain degree of comfort in that place, healing is a really uncomfortable process that takes time for each individual but pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones is what stimulates our growth.
MORE RESPONSES:
Things to do on days of struggle
- Lay in bed, be kind to myself about the small accomplishments, eg brushing my teeth, washing my hair, making food
- Walking with my dog, listening to music
- Spa Day, dedicated to relaxing
- Human contact
Healthier choices & Change
- Going to a psychologist
- Doing more of what makes me happy
- Surrounding myself with better people, who have my back
- Stopped doing drugs and ‘partying’
- Started opening up to people
Answers that fall under both categories
- Time off the phone
- Exercise
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Run/walk on the beach
To some these may seem so simple or obvious but it is so easy to get distracted with our busy lives that we forget to slow down and make sure we are taking care of our mind and body .
How do we support a friend who is struggling? This question was so important to me because I know how it feels to feel helpless in a time where you wish you could strip someone's pain away.
- When you are aware someone is struggling, don’t wait for them to reach out to you. This can be really scary for that person, who is afraid of feeling like a burden, being judged or misunderstood. Check in, let them know you're there.
- Follow up - After someone has opened up remember to check in later on.
- Sometimes there isn't anything you can say and the best thing we can do for our friend is sit there through the sadness with patience and love no matter how awkward it may feel.
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Does your friend know they need to see a psychologist but finds it too exhausting to arrange it? help them set it up! (we are entitled to 10 free sessions a year, go with your friend to the doctor as support to get the referral.)
** It is ok to set yourself boundaries for your own mental health, you do not have to be responsible for someone else if it is detrimental or triggering to yourself. Communicate with that person, recommend help and do what you can to the best of your ability.
A response from someone struggling with mental health…
"Sometimes messages and checking in are all good and so appreciated but I think the actual effort is what has helped me the most. I was thankful to have friends that reached out and would just come to my house or organise chilled days doing things like baking, training (activities to keep me busy and occupied so I wouldn't just sit at home alone) I think the care and taking time to actually try and understand what was going on. A lot of people wont ever understand which is completely fine and i cant judge that but i think it was an eye opener to have friends who really wanted to know how I felt and why. There's not really a guideline for it but i think to be empathetic, patient and just willing to listen to the person is all a basic human being should instinctively do"
At the end of the day we all have our personal struggles and are on a journey of healing and understanding each other. Some days we feel amazing and motivated, others not so much, this is normal. Fortunately, we have the internet, access to infinite resources and the ability to learn from others. We can connect with people with similar experiences, as well as professionals who are equipped to provide helpful guidance and counselling. I’d like to see mental health become a comfortable conversation for everyone. I hope at least one person reads this and finds comfort in knowing they are not alone, feels confident in supporting someone else or decides to start their journey of healing.
Be kind to yourself, love Natalia x